"We can't stop here! This is bat country!"

No particular reason for the title other than it's one of my favourite movie quotes.

So how is everybody? Sitting Comfortably? Then I'll begin.

Online gaming. When did it become so addictive? Also, am I the only one who is influenced by those around them during online games?

Example:

Normally, I am one of the most placid, considerate online gamers around, apart from my tendency to furiously ignore anyone who types using leetspeak. I'll let people steal my kills, fling their pointless insults (loser, fag, and of course, noob) and generally give the community a bad name, without a care in the world. What goes around, you know? But yesterday while playing Unreal Tournament 3 I suddenly became very, very angry. Not to the point where I was forced to swear AT anyone, because let's face it, slagging off people who live thousand of miles away isn't going to be nearly as effective as as a good slap, and one can't deliver one of those unless actually seated beside the offender.

But this guy/girl, probably a guy, looking back at the name, was costing my team the game. In a horribly blatant manner, as well. In one particular Warfare level of UT3 (Tank Crossing, Unreal players!) the most effective method of assaulting the enemy objective (Power Core) is to do the following:

A) Capture the Bridge Node. This activates the bridge which spans the huge chasm in the middle of the map.

B) Drive the Goliath (each team receives one of these massive tanks) across the bridge.

C) Navigate your way to the enemy power core and park the Goliath on a pressure pad which opens up the blast doors protecting it.

D) Fire.

But this was beyond the offender in question. He would REPEATEDLY jump in the Goliath (which means no-one else can get into the driver's seat) and proceed to drive backwards and forwards over the equivalent distance of about four metres. He wouldn't cross the bridge, he wouldn't get out of the tank, he wouldn't even fire the bloody thing.

Now, if one gets into a fast-paced First Person Shooter online, the one thing, above all else (including skill, talent, graphics, aiming, driving ability, EVERYTHING) that should concern a player is this:

Lag.

If one begins to lag, one bloody well notices. You won't be able to move, your weapons won't fire, nothing else will be moving or else everything will be moving in incredibly jerky fashion, like one of the old webcams that updated every second or two instead of streaming constantly. So there's a reason to ditch the game. I've done this myself once or twice. If all you can do is hover in mid-air because your computer's lagging so much that you aren't going to land for the next thirty seconds, it's time to leave the game. Common sense lads, fucking common sense.

So if this fellow was lagging (and the constant movement of the vehicle imply that this was NOT the case) he should have damn well known that the only thing to do was quit and let the other players enjoy their game. So the only other options (to me at least, most of the other players just assumed he didn't know how to drive, which is ridiculous) are that he was away from his keyboard, had gotten his keys jammed, or was just messing around and ruining it for everyone else.

The first you just don't do. Not while you're driving, for the Emperor's sake! Ditch the vehicle, die and respawn! Just leave your character to hover: this is accepted practice!

The second, well, you could at least TELL us! Would it take so long to type out, give me a moment here, let me get this right, 'sry keybord stuk lol'?

And the third, well. I don't like to think about it. What sort of person would deliberately do that? How can that be as much fun as actively participating in the fight?

Okay, rant over. My lunch break's nearly up and I needs me some cool water.

Thanks for putting up with me!

Love, Odsox.