I should be pissed off.
I should be incredibly angry.
But I'm not. Yesterday I cycled to work for the first time in ages and it was GREAT.
I left at twenty to eight in the morning because I like to give myself at least an hour's head start when I'm trying a new or unusual (for me) method of transport, and I got to work at TEN PAST EIGHT!
Half an hour! HALF A BLOODY HOUR! I'm lucky to get to work in an HOUR on the bus! And then, to rub it in the universe's face even more, I got home in twenty-five minutes! It was amazing! LOOK AT ALL THE EXCLAMATION MARKS I'M USING!
So why should I have been pissed off if my cycling experience was so brilliant?
Well, I don't know if you're aware, but it rained from approximately 06:00 to 09:00 non-stop this morning, which meant that, owing to my lack of waterproof clothing and utter terror of cycling on rainslicked surfaces with the worst motorists in the world (Welcome to Essex!), I had to take the bus. Cue standing in the rain for ten minutes then a further ten minutes due to the bus being late, getting annoyed at having to spend three quid I don't bloody have, putting up with all the tosspot Colchestrians on the bus (how I hate them!) and then having the universe get back at me by clearing the skies of cloud ENTIRELY upon my arrival at work.
So I SHOULD be screaming, "CURSE YOU, RANDOM FLUCTUATIONS OF THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM!" from the roof of the office while wearing a suit made of tinfoil and shaking a lightning rod at the sky.
But I'm not. And here's why:
Have you ever seen the general populace during heavy rain? They're brilliant fun. They whine, they complain, they scowl, they bang on about the weather. They leave the house in ridiculous items of clothing, like hotpants over stockings with a skimpy cloth top that shows off too much of their lard handles. They wear £500 suits that get RUINED in the downpour and lament their idiocy at not bringing a brolly (that's slang for 'umbrella', to all my cousins across the pond!). They radiate this aura of undiluted misery and..
It cheers me up! I guess I really do take a subconcious pleasure in the suffering of others, because the further I got into town, the more people I saw being soaked, depressed, put-upon, etc. and the bigger my smile became.
I imagine the ska music I had playing in my awesome new headphones was partially responsible but for the life of me I couldn't help but be cheered up by their plight. There's the populace, trudging, running, shrieking and in one particularly pathetic case, crying, and here's me, grinning, bobbing my head to the music, jogging and leaping into puddles just to irritate women wearing skirts, soaked to the skin but happy with it! I couldn't help but burst out laughing when I saw the previously mentioned skimpy top-wearing slag, and now I'm really looking forward to the rest of my day, even though I had to spend three quid on the bus when I'd blatantly be able to cycle back home tonight. I even wrote 'DON'T PANIC' on the steamed up windows of the buses I was on.
I think I'll spend some of the last of my money on a kagool or something waterproofy.
In other news, Love and Revenge has been updated with an interlude sequence! ->
TTFN!
Love, Odsox