The problem, you see, is that when I wake up at 06:10 every morning and stare at the ceiling, I come up with long, depressing diatribes in my head that would make for distracting if not laughable blog entries, but then I somehow manage to forget them on the way to work.
Today’s, for example, was going to be a horrible, mushy, self-deprecating (FUCK I was trying really hard to remember that phrase the other day!) miserable rant about girls and how lovely they are etc. etc. ad nauseum, basically due to the fact that I haven’t been able to touch one in more than a friendly fashion for about two years.
Of course it wasn’t ALL going to be about touching them, even though that’s one of the best parts.
It’s when you wake up for the umpteenth morning, on the right-hand side of a double bed with that great big empty space next to you.
Now don’t get me wrong – I’m well aware of the fact that the last girl to share that bed with me was, quote unquote, ‘rubbish for me’, - but that doesn’t half make you pine for some companionship. Well. It does me, anyway.
Some of you might be happy with your singleness, but I for one am becoming pretty bloody fed up with it. I’ve got a comfy double bed that isn’t being used to its full capacity, an amateur set of cooking skills that are entirely wasted on a single 24y/o male living alone, a DVD collection that puts your average dude’s clutch of shite Vin Diesel DVDs to shame (Variety. I has it.), and a whole HOST of rants that don’t get a chance to fall on seemingly patient but actually uninterested ears!
The worst thing about it all is probably the pity, though.
You know what I’m talking about.
Although.. saying that.. the pity is about the closest thing I get to attention these days, and when you grew up an only child with an awesome mum who paid attention to you 24/7 WHETHER YOU WANTED HER TO OR NOT, living on your own and not having anyone around to interact with is, quite frankly, absolute pears.
Yeah, anyway look, I get paid on the 23rd, so I’ll be booking an appointment wiv da toof-fixa after paying the main bills, and I fully expect you all (all three of you!) to take the time out of your busy schedules and LOOK AT ME, PAY ATTENTION TO ME!
On a final, slightly related note, I did manage to pluck up the courage to speak to the hot bargirl in The Swan opposite the Corn Exchange when we went to see Dylan Moran last Wednesday. Just general shit and trying to big up Josh’s sample CD, but I spoke to her! Go me!
Now if only I could get that sort of courage up all the time.
Back to the grind…
Od.