Friday 28 November 2008
Thursday 27 November 2008
"Too Young To Feel This Damn Old" - redux
So, as some of you may be aware, it's my year-closer-to-death day on Saturday the 29th (that's this Saturday)of November. This will be my twenty-fourth full year on this horrible little dirtball of a planet, and I intend to celebrate in as raucous and jovial a fashion as possible.
A basic rundown for you.
Friday 28/11/08 - 18:30 onwards:
GAMES! MUSIC! BOOZE! MOVIES! SMOKE! HAHAHAHAH!
Saturday 29/11/08 (DA OFFISHUL BERFDAY) - From whenever I wake up onwards:
More of the same, but culminating in a stumbling rush to colchester Town centreat about seven to start drinking at the Purple Dog, on to Greenlands for iced teas and ending up at the Castle where I can try to ply ugly girls with drinks and convince them that they should give me their numbers ''cause it's ma birthday, innit?'. If I don't even manage to get a kiss on the cheek from an ugly girl's ugly friend who feels sorry for me, then I shall be upset.
Sunday 30/11/08 - 09:30 onwards:
Wondering what the hell happened the night before, becoming heart-breakingly depressed because I've just realised that I'm nearly thirty, followed by a massive panic-induced cleanup as I realise AUNTIE GILL'S COMING OVER TODAY!! And nudging the casualties of the celebration awake while making them decide whether they want to stick around and meet the legendary Auntie Gill and Uncle Martin, or move on to somewhere where there are fewer family members.
Sunday night I expect I'll become incredibly maudlin and get all bitter and drunk before I have to return to my shitbox job on Monday morning.
If any of you buggers has a suggestion or request for the weekend, for God's sake let me know as soon as possible, because otherwise it'll all go to hell and I'll end up spending my birthday alone again, which fuckin' sucks.
Od.
A basic rundown for you.
Friday 28/11/08 - 18:30 onwards:
GAMES! MUSIC! BOOZE! MOVIES! SMOKE! HAHAHAHAH!
Saturday 29/11/08 (DA OFFISHUL BERFDAY) - From whenever I wake up onwards:
More of the same, but culminating in a stumbling rush to colchester Town centreat about seven to start drinking at the Purple Dog, on to Greenlands for iced teas and ending up at the Castle where I can try to ply ugly girls with drinks and convince them that they should give me their numbers ''cause it's ma birthday, innit?'. If I don't even manage to get a kiss on the cheek from an ugly girl's ugly friend who feels sorry for me, then I shall be upset.
Sunday 30/11/08 - 09:30 onwards:
Wondering what the hell happened the night before, becoming heart-breakingly depressed because I've just realised that I'm nearly thirty, followed by a massive panic-induced cleanup as I realise AUNTIE GILL'S COMING OVER TODAY!! And nudging the casualties of the celebration awake while making them decide whether they want to stick around and meet the legendary Auntie Gill and Uncle Martin, or move on to somewhere where there are fewer family members.
Sunday night I expect I'll become incredibly maudlin and get all bitter and drunk before I have to return to my shitbox job on Monday morning.
If any of you buggers has a suggestion or request for the weekend, for God's sake let me know as soon as possible, because otherwise it'll all go to hell and I'll end up spending my birthday alone again, which fuckin' sucks.
Od.
Monday 17 November 2008
"Vault Secure!"
So Fallout 3 then.
I've been playing this every now and then. I ain't impressed. It isn't nearly as much fun as a good game of WAR - there's no-one around to fight!
It's a fucking wasteland! There's nothing out there but ruined buildings, tumbleweeds, radiation and the occasional rabid dog or robot! Where's my damned horse?! WHY CAN'T I SPRINT!?
WHY IS STEALTH IMPOSSIBLE!?
Only joking. I got my copy for free, so I'm not really angry about anything.
But I would like a horse..
It's a pretty game, isn't it? But as usual, my first reaction to the well-detailed environments and rolling tumbleweeds, perfectly-drawn hairs on the character's face and expressive feautres, was, 'Shiny. Like a high-tech Oblivion.', and let's be honest, that's what it is. It FEELS like Oblivion. When you move, when you fight, when you talk to characters, when you ride your horse OH WAIT YOU CAN'T DO THAT I FORGOT.
Not that I'm bitter about it or anything.
The problem with such massive, immersive games like Fallout 3 (or as I've taken to calling it, the F3 Virus), is that there's so. Much. TALKING. And so many f-ers to talk to! Oh sure, 'not if you avoid the main quests', you might say. But that's why I'm here! I play games because they have STORIES behind them. I wanna know who's gonna blow up the world, who's gonna kill everything, who's gonna save them and above all, how many guns am I allowed? I don't WANT to spend twenty hours just wandering around and occasionally killing things because there's nothing else to do. I want interaction, drama, fast-paced action and a flowing storyline! Not Travel-Dungeon-Kill-Loot-Sell-Repeat! If I wanted THAT shit I could just go and play Warcraft.
Being an incredibly indecisive person given to sudden, irrational mood swings, I don't get on with it because I never fall into any of the accepted types. Fallout comes with a nice array of playstyles, just like Oblivion, but like every game I've ever played, what it comes down to is that if you don't have the opportunity to pick a dedicated class (ie rogue, fighter, wizard etc, blah blah blah yakkety shmakkety), it can be extremely difficult to try and stick with one.
For example, by nature I prefer to keep in the shadows, wait for my moment and stab people repeatedly in the neck. If I work out that I can't do this, like in Fallout 3 where EVERY LITTLE NOISE attracts the attention of every fucker from Thunderdome and beyond, or the fact that every single enemy has TELESCOPIC SUPER VISION like Superman and shit, thus rendering sniper rifles pointless, then my other playstyle is to play tactically. Adjust my approach to suit the situation.
But because one is forced to semi-specialise, this isn't a viable option. In an ideal world I would either take the stealthy approach, which consists of, as mentioned, repeated stabbing, and silenced pistols, sniper rifles and the occasional grenade ("Fraggle out!"), or the pyromaniac approach, which consists of burning everything to a cinder until there's nothing left but a pile of ashes and me with a happy smile and singed eyebrows. Fallout relies on your persistence, patience and ability to pick up useless crap everywhere you go.
That's right. Useless crap. The problem here is, what's useful and what isn't? I saw packs of cigarettes lying around and my first thought was 'Prisoners trade for cigarettes, why shouldn't post-nuke nutjobs?' so I grabbed a few packs. I grabbed cans of food, big knives, anything that could be used as a weapon, scavenged every single piece of armour I could find, and passed over the pressure cooker ("Wtf? What is this shit, 'Cooking Mama'? Where are the GUNS!") and railspikes, completely unaware that these very components can lead to some of the nicer weapons later on.
I SHOULD love this game. It's beautiful, graphics-wise. It's smooth, the gameplay can be immersive and gripping (except when you're zerged by six raiders because OOPS you trod on a tin can!), the voices are (mostly) well-done, the scripting is just fine and the dialogue is spot-on as far as I'm concerned. The VATS system is epic win.
But I just can't get into it. I've decided to give up on it for now. I much prefer the epic battles of WAR and the camaraderie of my allies. Plus, I'm MORE than happy to be labelled a squishy ranged DPS and not be able to stealth or anything else, because I have meatshie- allies to do that for me. I get to focus on mass destruction and saying cool stuff. AND I HAVE A FUCKING HORSE.
WAR CALLS!
Od.
I've been playing this every now and then. I ain't impressed. It isn't nearly as much fun as a good game of WAR - there's no-one around to fight!
It's a fucking wasteland! There's nothing out there but ruined buildings, tumbleweeds, radiation and the occasional rabid dog or robot! Where's my damned horse?! WHY CAN'T I SPRINT!?
WHY IS STEALTH IMPOSSIBLE!?
Only joking. I got my copy for free, so I'm not really angry about anything.
But I would like a horse..
It's a pretty game, isn't it? But as usual, my first reaction to the well-detailed environments and rolling tumbleweeds, perfectly-drawn hairs on the character's face and expressive feautres, was, 'Shiny. Like a high-tech Oblivion.', and let's be honest, that's what it is. It FEELS like Oblivion. When you move, when you fight, when you talk to characters, when you ride your horse OH WAIT YOU CAN'T DO THAT I FORGOT.
Not that I'm bitter about it or anything.
The problem with such massive, immersive games like Fallout 3 (or as I've taken to calling it, the F3 Virus), is that there's so. Much. TALKING. And so many f-ers to talk to! Oh sure, 'not if you avoid the main quests', you might say. But that's why I'm here! I play games because they have STORIES behind them. I wanna know who's gonna blow up the world, who's gonna kill everything, who's gonna save them and above all, how many guns am I allowed? I don't WANT to spend twenty hours just wandering around and occasionally killing things because there's nothing else to do. I want interaction, drama, fast-paced action and a flowing storyline! Not Travel-Dungeon-Kill-Loot-Sell-Repeat! If I wanted THAT shit I could just go and play Warcraft.
Being an incredibly indecisive person given to sudden, irrational mood swings, I don't get on with it because I never fall into any of the accepted types. Fallout comes with a nice array of playstyles, just like Oblivion, but like every game I've ever played, what it comes down to is that if you don't have the opportunity to pick a dedicated class (ie rogue, fighter, wizard etc, blah blah blah yakkety shmakkety), it can be extremely difficult to try and stick with one.
For example, by nature I prefer to keep in the shadows, wait for my moment and stab people repeatedly in the neck. If I work out that I can't do this, like in Fallout 3 where EVERY LITTLE NOISE attracts the attention of every fucker from Thunderdome and beyond, or the fact that every single enemy has TELESCOPIC SUPER VISION like Superman and shit, thus rendering sniper rifles pointless, then my other playstyle is to play tactically. Adjust my approach to suit the situation.
But because one is forced to semi-specialise, this isn't a viable option. In an ideal world I would either take the stealthy approach, which consists of, as mentioned, repeated stabbing, and silenced pistols, sniper rifles and the occasional grenade ("Fraggle out!"), or the pyromaniac approach, which consists of burning everything to a cinder until there's nothing left but a pile of ashes and me with a happy smile and singed eyebrows. Fallout relies on your persistence, patience and ability to pick up useless crap everywhere you go.
That's right. Useless crap. The problem here is, what's useful and what isn't? I saw packs of cigarettes lying around and my first thought was 'Prisoners trade for cigarettes, why shouldn't post-nuke nutjobs?' so I grabbed a few packs. I grabbed cans of food, big knives, anything that could be used as a weapon, scavenged every single piece of armour I could find, and passed over the pressure cooker ("Wtf? What is this shit, 'Cooking Mama'? Where are the GUNS!") and railspikes, completely unaware that these very components can lead to some of the nicer weapons later on.
I SHOULD love this game. It's beautiful, graphics-wise. It's smooth, the gameplay can be immersive and gripping (except when you're zerged by six raiders because OOPS you trod on a tin can!), the voices are (mostly) well-done, the scripting is just fine and the dialogue is spot-on as far as I'm concerned. The VATS system is epic win.
But I just can't get into it. I've decided to give up on it for now. I much prefer the epic battles of WAR and the camaraderie of my allies. Plus, I'm MORE than happy to be labelled a squishy ranged DPS and not be able to stealth or anything else, because I have meatshie- allies to do that for me. I get to focus on mass destruction and saying cool stuff. AND I HAVE A FUCKING HORSE.
WAR CALLS!
Od.
Wednesday 5 November 2008
"Shore up that left flank and keep firing!"
Wow, I've got a lot going on in November. I only realised how much stuff last night!
It was Halloween on Friday, I KNOW IT WAS OCTOBER LET ME FINISH, and a nice night of getting buzzy-drunk (which is the most fun stage) led me into the month of my birth. On Saturday November 1st I finally met Dan Abnett, legendary author, storyteller extraordinaire and all-round cool dude. If you haven't heard of the mighty Abnett, I highly suggest you check his stuff out. The man's worked on 2000AD (Do you have any idea how awesome Sinister Dexter is? No, I don't think you do. Go look.), shedloads of Warhammer 40,000 books including his own phenomenally successful Gaunt's Ghosts series, and a whole bunch of stuff I'm still too excited to think of. I should have bought a copy of the Malus Darkblade Chronicles for him to sign.. boo..
Tonight (the 5th) is fireworks night, which I'm not doing anything for, but I can watch the Essex Uni's fireworks quite easily from my front room window. I'll probably pull up a comfy chair by the window and read by a light while the explodey bits happen outside.
I should, God-Emperor willing, have my PC up and running on a fresh hard drive by next week (been meaning to buy a bigger one for ages), and on the 12th, as you already know, I'm off to see Less Than Jake at the Astoria.
FUCKING ROCK.
I was pleasantly surprised to receive an email reminder from Chris' mum that we're going to the Mercury Theatre on the 17th to catch a play called Alex, which is about a cartoon about the City of London, written by some nice chaps. And I haven't been to the theatre for YEARS.
And on the 29th it's my birthday! I believe this band 'Sower' are playing a show down at the Twist on that day, though I doubt I'll be attending myself. I like metal, but I like metal I can hear and join in with, not xtreem noyz mettul. Big man Weanie will be on bass, so that should prove impressive for those who go. Apparently Work is throwing a Pirate Party as well, which I've managed to get out of through the simple fact that IT'S MY BIRTHDAY DAMNIT and I hate spending time with Work people outside of Working hours. I go there to get paid and be miserable, not make middle-aged/young hipster/taken hot girls friends.
So what am I doing for my birthday? Well, luckily it falls on a Saturday, so it doesn't matter how mashed up I get because I'll have Sunday off, innit. I reckon I'll start my day with some purchasing in town, maybe catch a myoo-vay or two, then head out to the Purple Dog in town to start drinking. I'll do my favourite route, which is Purple Dog, Greenlands (iced tea with LOTSOFBOOZE!), VBar if I feel adventurous, then the Castle, which I like to think of as the Winding-Down Pub. Everyone ends up there at the end of a night out, because they close at 2AM.
If anyone has any suggestions or ideas for something more interesting, for god's sake let me know. I don't want to spend my birthday alone. That's always crap.
Odsox.
It was Halloween on Friday, I KNOW IT WAS OCTOBER LET ME FINISH, and a nice night of getting buzzy-drunk (which is the most fun stage) led me into the month of my birth. On Saturday November 1st I finally met Dan Abnett, legendary author, storyteller extraordinaire and all-round cool dude. If you haven't heard of the mighty Abnett, I highly suggest you check his stuff out. The man's worked on 2000AD (Do you have any idea how awesome Sinister Dexter is? No, I don't think you do. Go look.), shedloads of Warhammer 40,000 books including his own phenomenally successful Gaunt's Ghosts series, and a whole bunch of stuff I'm still too excited to think of. I should have bought a copy of the Malus Darkblade Chronicles for him to sign.. boo..
Tonight (the 5th) is fireworks night, which I'm not doing anything for, but I can watch the Essex Uni's fireworks quite easily from my front room window. I'll probably pull up a comfy chair by the window and read by a light while the explodey bits happen outside.
I should, God-Emperor willing, have my PC up and running on a fresh hard drive by next week (been meaning to buy a bigger one for ages), and on the 12th, as you already know, I'm off to see Less Than Jake at the Astoria.
FUCKING ROCK.
I was pleasantly surprised to receive an email reminder from Chris' mum that we're going to the Mercury Theatre on the 17th to catch a play called Alex, which is about a cartoon about the City of London, written by some nice chaps. And I haven't been to the theatre for YEARS.
And on the 29th it's my birthday! I believe this band 'Sower' are playing a show down at the Twist on that day, though I doubt I'll be attending myself. I like metal, but I like metal I can hear and join in with, not xtreem noyz mettul. Big man Weanie will be on bass, so that should prove impressive for those who go. Apparently Work is throwing a Pirate Party as well, which I've managed to get out of through the simple fact that IT'S MY BIRTHDAY DAMNIT and I hate spending time with Work people outside of Working hours. I go there to get paid and be miserable, not make middle-aged/young hipster/taken hot girls friends.
So what am I doing for my birthday? Well, luckily it falls on a Saturday, so it doesn't matter how mashed up I get because I'll have Sunday off, innit. I reckon I'll start my day with some purchasing in town, maybe catch a myoo-vay or two, then head out to the Purple Dog in town to start drinking. I'll do my favourite route, which is Purple Dog, Greenlands (iced tea with LOTSOFBOOZE!), VBar if I feel adventurous, then the Castle, which I like to think of as the Winding-Down Pub. Everyone ends up there at the end of a night out, because they close at 2AM.
If anyone has any suggestions or ideas for something more interesting, for god's sake let me know. I don't want to spend my birthday alone. That's always crap.
Odsox.
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