"Actually, I don't think I am alright."

Forgive me if this seems a bit melodramatic, but I'm honestly not sure as to what just happened.

I was sat at work, idly grimacing at the slight pains along my stomach from, I assume, the escercises I've been doing recently along with the cycling and whatnot, when I think, Hmm, this hurts a bit. I wonder what causes a hernia?

As always, whenever I'm faced with a difficult question, I Googled it.

Here's what I started reading. I got about.. oh halfway down the page and began to get worried. I rested a hand on my gut, probing for lumps and thinking ha, how's a fat dude like me supposed to check for lumps through this? and grimaced again at a sudden spike of pain. I was probably pressing too hard.

Or was I?

Suddenly it all seemed a bit too similar to what I was reading, and the pain increased. Then my vision began to.. I don't know what to call it, it wasn't blurry, it was just.. intense. My face started to feel red, incredibly sensitive, and I sped-read the rest of the page. Terrified, I locked my computer and went to the toilet, getting 999 ready on my phone (because certain kinds of hernia can be lethal if not treated quickly enough) and fiddling with my belt buckle.

My vision suddenly went nuts, everything seeming incredibly bright and unfocused, while I genuinely lost control of my legs for a moment.

I'd managed to reach the toilets, and locked the door behind me, looking into the mirror. When had I started to sweat? A sheen of perspiration covered my face and arms, and I wiped it from my head, clutching at my stomach and sitting on the toilet with little ceremony. I sat my phone to one side, the little blue numbers still ready to go on the black screen. I stared at my hands. I felt so hot, so bloody hot! Was this a panic attack? A diabetic thing? Mum was diabetic and I know that one's weight can seriously affect diabetes. But I hadn't eaten loads of sweets or anything today, had I? And the pain in my stomach had died down to a mere twinge if I pressed it hard, rather than the sharp stabbing pain I would have thought indicated something as serious as a hernia. I suddenly had a terrible urge to defecate, and just as I thought about it I stopped. Surely attempting that sort of thing with a hernia would just exacerbate the situation? Now I was really scared. I stared at the door for a while, trying to think about anything other than being found dead in the toilets by my co-workers.

My vision stopped freaking out, and I felt the strange sensitivity around my face ease off as well. I stood up, fully expecting to fall over or stumble.

Nothing. I took another look in the mirror. The front of my shirt showed a few damp patches from where I'd been sweating so heavily, and I could feel as well as see the drips rolling down my forehead. I grabbed a handful of towels and soaked the worst of it up. I took a moment to gather myself before heading back out to work. Bless them, they hadn't even noticed my rush off. I sat back down at my desk, one hand still on my stomach.

The tiniest twinges of pain are still there now, and if this doesn't ease off by the time I get home (I'll be cycling again, probably not wise should this turn out to be as bad as I think it is) I'll have to call the ambulance out.

Anyway. I just felt this incredible urge to write this down. Probably a bit fatalistic on my part, but hey, you'd have known before anyone else, right?

Love, Odsox