"Happy Hogswatch!"

'Ello there!

Don't be fooled by my seemingly-chipper introduction - I currently feel like an elephant took a shit in my brain and I want to die.

This is not a result of Saturday's Mash-Up, but rather the result of a cold evening walking around London, followed by sitting in a theatre bunched up with loads of humans who had coughs and/or colds, cycling in the cold without a scarf and smoking cigarettes when I should have been drinking Lemsip.

But fuck it, it's nearly Hogswatch and I get to leave Colch-Hell-ster behind for a few days while I go up to Loughton to see my dad and the family.

The Mash Up on Saturday, while not Epic, was definitely Awesome. Thanks to young Weanie, who sadly couldn't make it thanks to his asshat employers (who made him drive around London all Saturday with the meagre promise of back-pay - the bastards), we had the use of a projector and my chuffing brilliant surround sound system. Some reshuffling of furniture left us with a cheap home theatre and PLENTY of boozes. I'd like to express my thanks to those who managed to show, namely Adam, Fi, Gem, Justin and Sooz, because let's face it, it would have been a diabolical evening without you.

The evening went well, we got drunk, exchanged presents (which were all-around AWESOME - I shall list them momentarily) and watched Wall-E on the big screen while taking turns to look through the front door peephole at the Nutter across the hallway and his chavtastic acquaintances, who broke down his door, spat on him repeatedly and probably beat him up. I love living on Greenstead.

As for presents, I got an amazing selection, BEHOLD!

From Adam and Sooz - A Led Zeppelin T-Shirt, a MASSIVE tea mug with a heat-ativated stripping lady on, a naked lady lighter and a rather classy naked lady roach book!

From Gemma - A copy of MB Games' Operation! It's just a shame we didn't play it (Justin got Hungry Hippos - OM NOM NOM NOM HUNGRY HIPPOS!)

From Justin and Fi - A desk calendar entitled something like '365 Days and Ways to Get Your Revenge!' which is AWESOME, and, and this was very, VERY thoughtful on Fi's part, a copy of Elephant Cat, by Nicola Bayley! (I now have the complete set of Copycat books!) And before you get all 'Hur, looks a bit poofy to me', I'd like to point out that when I was a small child my mother used to read these books to me, and they have pride of place alongside a picture of me ol' mum in my bookcase, so fuck you. *smiles*

HEY, I forgot to mention why I was in London! For those of you who I haven't raved about this to already, settle down.

I was at work on Friday, and at about ten o'clock I get an email from a lady who works downstairs in reception. She tells me that she has two FREE tickets to see Eddie Izzard that night at the Lyric Theatre in London, and that if I want them, I should go ahead and say so. A couple of phone calls later, and I've agreed to meet Auntie Gill at London Liverpool Street station, and to go from there on to the theatre! I thought it made a nice early Christmas present.

Mr. Izzard was on fine form, especially considering he had a cough (the same as everyone else in the theatre, from the sound of things), and he did several really good skits. They recorded the whole show ("in a bootleg style!") for an audio CD as well. Auntie Gilll and I were impressed with his ability to essentially just talk to a room full of people for nearly three hours. That's a job I'd love. And while not a massive fan of Eddie Izzard originally, he did a bit about Noah's Ark and the lack of sharks onboard that completely won me over.

Right, I should go back to work before my head falls off because it's full of words and snot.

Od.

Oddy's Pre-Christmas Mash-Up!

IT’S YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM KIPPOOOOOOOOOORRRRR!!!!

Well, maybe not. But it’d be good fun if it was, eh?

I don’t know if any of you buggers have noticed, but there seems to be some sort of mass-commercialism going on at the moment. Every shop has decorated its window with some old fat guy in a red jumpsuit who looks like he stole every fucking pie in the factory.

I’m told this is part of a human festival called Christmas, which I’ve found myself referring to as The Great Winter Price-Hike, when the shops gain a fondness for red, green, silver, gold and white, start getting this fat guy to lumber through their shops either as a hobo who gives children presents and ‘sits the kiddies on his knee’ – riiiiiiight - or as a tinny, new-fangled clockwork automaton, and PLAY NOTHING BUT CHRISTMAS SONGS ALL DAY.

Fuck that noise.

A few of you might remember, many years ago, that some of us decided that spending Christmas with the family is all well and good, but seeing as you never get to see your mates over that little holiday, it might be an idea to arrange some sort of pre-Christmas do for just you and your bestests.

Well, after chatting to Mr. Weanie about the whole thing, I’m going to attempt to reinstate this, and everyone who reads this blog (and can make the journey, obviously) is invited. So, pack a few cheapo pressies in your bags, grab the booze, the smoke, DVDs and CDs, make your excuses and come on over!

It would be awesome to get the old crowd together, and of course those of you who are lucky enough to have gotten a bf/gf since the last bash can consider your new beau/heau welcome as well - the more the merrier!

DETAILS:

The Pre-Christmas Booze Bash will take place on Saturday the 20th of December at approximately 18:00, and the venue will be 80 Avon Way, Colchester.

The aim of the Pre-Christmas Booze Bash is simple - to gather all your friends, mates, pals, chums, put them in a small(ish) space, get them tanked up and hand over their Christmas presents!

Adam, Weanie, Justin, Gemma, Fi, Sooz, and.. er.. actually that's all the friends I have. Nearby at least.

Anyway, do as the Invite says! And for the love of cheese, get in touch if you can't make it! There's nothing worse than organising something like this and hacing it fall through at the last moment.

As a parting note, here's a cheerful, happy-go-lucky scamp to remind us that dressing up one's pets is neither big, nor clever.



In fact, it should be a hanging offence.

Od.

Work In Progress.

I can’t write until I have music. Clicking here should give you an idea of today’s blog matter, however.

Don’t get hit by a car until I’ve posted.

Od.

"Hooray! It's your Year-Closer-to-Death Day!"

Welcome along!

I'd like to thank Gem, Adam, Justin, Weanie and Fi for turning up for birthday drinks on Saturday. The rest of you are rubbish EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIVE NEAR COLCHESTER!

Auntie Gill and Uncle Martin also popped by on Sunday with a birthday picnic, which was nomtastic. It's always good to see my favourite Auntie and Uncle. And me Dad popped down with Lou and two of the Brood (read: my little brother and sister) to drop off my pressies and wish me a happy birthday last weekend, which was actually fun.

So all in all I had a great birthday and most importantly of all I was lavished with appropriate tribute,thusly:

From my Father and his Brood, most notably, a tea mug featuring a piece of Paul Kidby artwork, a t-shirt decorated with the Josh Kirby (R.I.P., legend) cover of Terry Pratchett's Pyramids, a new jigsaw puzzle depicting Josh Kirby's artwork for Terry Pratchett's Soul Music, and a string of plastic skulls with flashing, multi-coloured lights!

From Auntie Gill and Uncle Martin, a lavish birthday picnic, a generous monetary tribute and the pleasure of their company on Recovery Sunday.

From Gem, most notably, a copy of Disney's The Sword in The Stone on DVD, six glow-in-the-dark fingerbobs (one of which is the most enthusiastic-looking toy I've EVER seen) and a bag of birthday Twiglets OM NOM NOM NOM.

From Justin, a genuine Guitar Hero action figure blister featuring the legendary Lars Umlaut, probably my favourite and definitely the most metal of Guitar Hero's (human) characters!

From Fi, one of the most thoughtful presents I've gotten in a while, an origami P-Chan, complete with origami bandana! It sits upon my bookcase with an aura of stubborn pride and it is byootifull.

The regards and birthday wishes of all those not mentioned here were also a great gift, and I'm honestly feeling better in myself for the reminder that people know I'm alive. I'd like to give a specific shout to man Weanie for turning up to offer a quick Happy Birthday to me even though he was absolutely shattered from his gig. Try as I might I couldn't get a link to his band while at work, but they're awesome, a SERIOUS metal band named Sower.

Right then, what else is going on? Well, (switch off, non-nerds) the Warhammer Online update I've been waiting for since release is finally here, so tonight I finally get to play one of the bad guys and enjoy the hate-filled psychopath that is the Black Guard of Naggarond. I'm really looking forward to hacking people up with a spiky halberd. In other news, meddling with the components of my gaming rig has been an unusually fun experience, so much so that I've taken it into my head to come up with an ambitious project.

Now, it won't come as a surprise to some of you that I've always had a soft spot for laptops. My first real gaming rig (more fool me) was a laptop, and I've had a hankering for a new one since mine was stolen. Obviously I've learned my lesson and don't want one for gaming anymore, nor do I want to spend more than £150 on the thing. No, I want what I will refer to as a shitbox laptop. Basically, all I'm going to use it for is writing, the occasional piece of artwork, listening to music and internet browsing. It needs at least two USB ports for a memory stick and printer coupling, and at the very most 80GB of space. I've been scouting NetBooks (these things are cool) and while I appreciate the fact that they are rather nifty, they're also a bit dinky for my sausage-like fingers and manhands. I might punch straight through the keyboard with these fat digits. The ultimate draw of a NetBook (for me at least) is the fact that they're so small. I've wanted a laptop as a replacement for pens and paper, pretty much because I find it nearly impossible to write with pens anymore. I never follow up what I write in my notebooks, they're more of a scrap/draft/scribble/idea pad than a real notebook.
The only thing is, I'm going to want to mess it up. I'm gonna paint it, engrave on it, stick things to it and generally make it ugly, unstealable and undeniably mine. So I don't want anything too fancy, you see.

I know, it's a dilemma.

Anyway, thanks for putting up with me and have a good day!

Od.